Do you feel discouraged and defeated by online dating?
Do you wish you could meet someone who was open and honest about wanting a real relationship, someone not just looking for a hook up?
Are you looking for a partner who values personal growth as much as you do?
Come to our co-ed, all ages, all sexual orientations relationship group: Road to Relationship!
Road to Relationship is a monthly workshop for thoughtful single people who want to do the work to face their dating fears and get out there with confidence!
Developed by three therapists—all who are married, all who treat couples and created this class to teach the skills and mindset to help people develop expectations that reduce distress, make better choices around partnership, have healthier communication, and be able to relax, connect and convey boundaries in a thoughtful and clear manner. Road to Relationship is not a therapy group, but rather a collaborative educational experience.
Noelle Mestres LICSW is a psychotherapist in private practice. When not in her office, she’s probably out walking her dogs! Noelle also likes to be on stage! She finds that her theatre practice helps her in her therapy practice and vise-versa. Noelle loves hanging out with her husband whom she’s been with for—gulp—30 years! Like Tanya, she feels that the path she’s traveled with him has inspired her to humbly offer this class! She also wants to credit her wonderful clients over the years who have helped teach her about how relationships work .
Susie Wind is a LMHC in private practice. When she's not in the office she can often be found painting in her studio or hanging our with her family. It's her long term friendships and family life that inform her relational work in counseling. She loves long walks with the dog, looking at or making art with her kids, and coffee.
Tanya Ruckstuhl LICSW is a psychotherapist in private practice who loves reading in a hammock, good conversations, family time and gardens. She hopes this class can help the many wonderful but lonely folks she has seen in her practice and personal life over the years. Tanya believes that loving and being loved are the two most important and healing purposes of being alive. Her wonderful husband (met via Match.com) as well as adult twin boys provide much inspiration for this class!
Seattle is a place with GREAT human capital (tons of smart, hardworking and earnest single folks), but not-so-great social capital (lots of introverts and a social environment that is largely passive). Add one pandemic to the mix, and single folks are just feeling timid and more out of practice than ever!
We aim to change that! We embrace a learning environment that will prepare you for the path ahead. Our classes incorporate traditional learning styles as well as hands-on experiences.
When: Road to Relationship is a monthly class that meets the first Thursday of each Month from 4 to 5:30pm
Start Date: December 1st, 2022
Cost: $60 (payment due at time of class. We take cash, check, credit card and Zelle.)
Special: We are offering a $20 discount "First Timers" for both you and a friend if you sign up with a friend (you both still need to go through the screening in advance) so cost will be reduced from $60 to $40 if you bring a friend. This discount applies only to the first session.
Location: North Seattle, in the Lake City area
To ensure that all of our participants can relax and learn in an emotionally safe environment, we require that everyone participate in a phone screen to determine compatibility with the group dynamic. Please call or text Susie Wind LMHC, at 206 465-5045 to arrange your 15 minute screening. One of our requirements is that all participants are financially self supporting. If you are a non-working student or currently unemployed, please reach out to us once you have graduated and are working.
Please reach us at 206 375 7690 if you cannot find an answer to your question.
This class is carefully constructed to be an emotionally safe space to learn, and all participants will be prescreened to insure their capacity to contribute to everyone's wellbeing.
Each class will cover different relationship skills, such as open-hearted communication, the development of a positive relational mind set, setting and communicating boundaries, how to meet people, and more!
By all means, read a book too! But in the same way that going to college is a richer experience than only going to the library--this class offers the opportunity to learn in an interactive setting and to get your own unique needs and experiences heard, validated and thought about by the entire group!
Imagine playing a game of ball as a kid. You throw it, you catch it, you throw it back. It’s fun to take turns. You’re not trying to be tricky or get the other person “out,” you’re just trying to keep the ball going back and forth as long as possible. That is what you try to do in a good conversation. Talking too much is like keeping the ball—if you don’t throw it back by asking questions and listening as much as you talk, you are not making it fun for the other person. On the other hand, if you only ask questions and offer none of yourself, it won’t be any fun for you—to keep it interesting for both of you, something must be offered (in the form of personal stories, anecdotes, ideas, observations) and something must be received (in the form of listening, offering follow up questions, showing that you are paying attention).
We recommend your first date should just be meeting for a cup of coffee or tea, so that if it feels too difficult to converse, or if the other person makes you feel uncomfortable, you can get out of there in half an hour. Do not give a stranger your home address to pick you up; for safety’s sake, meet them at the agreed upon location.
Second dates mean you are willing to spend more time getting to know the other person a little bit.
Here are some ideas:
Go for a walk around Green Lake and then get a drink or meal at Shelter or Retreat or the Greenlake Bar and Grill. All have good food. Retreat is more casual than the other two, but be aware that the service is slow.
Get desert from the Honey Bear Bakery while listening to live music at the Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park. Check out their website for details.
Rent a double kayak from Agua Verde Paddle club or the Northwest Outdoor Center.
Bring a gourmet picnic to the Arboretum for a sunset stroll and meal.
Go to the Woodland Park Zoo—they open at 9:30 am and are usually least crowded at opening time.
Go to the First Thursday Gallery Walk in Pioneer Square from 5 to 9pm.
Note that none of these ideas are bar-centric. Would you drink at a job interview? A date is even more important than a job interview: the purpose of a date is to get to know the person whom you will potentially be forming a lifelong intimate relationship with. Mutual sobriety will allow both of you to better assess who the other person is without the disinhibiting effects of alcohol. And frankly, no one is as interesting as they think they are when they are drinking!
Imagine going to a restaurant that only served one thing—fava beans. (No offense to anyone who likes fava beans). Some people LOVE fava beans…but frankly most of us do not, and certainly not for appetizers, main course and desert.
The things you can talk about comfortably are the items on your conversational menu. This includes what you do for a living as well as all the jobs you have ever had, where you are from as well as where you live, your family of origin, your kids and pets, what you do for fun in terms of hobbies, physical activities, television shows, what kind of education you have, etc. You get the idea.
The more expansive and diverse your conversational menu, the more likely you will be able to connect with other people more comfortably because there will be more overlap opportunities between your menu and theirs.
If you have a hard time connecting, one of the things you can do is…do more things! Even whacky things that you don’t wind up continuing to do can become a conversational topic (ask me about the time I went to a Reiki class and wound-up chuckling at one of the participants who went around announcing how many more reincarnations she had had than everyone around her).